Masti N Work: Dec 26, 2008

10 ways to get a girls heart ....

1. Hugs from behind.

2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other.

3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.

4. Cuddle with her.

5. Dont force her to do anything.

6. Write little notes.

7. Compliment her.

8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as
possible.

9. Say I love you ..... and mean it.

10. Pick her over your friends .. no matter what.

Any given day ...A Wife is a wife (funny but true)

Sep 1752

I wonder how this still works???@@##$$%^&&

10 most stupid questions people usually ask

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:-

1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well, it's so hot , there were no cool cabs
so I thought I'd watch some advertisements in
the cool comfort of the theater.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet

Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...
why don't you try again or should i try this
time."

3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated
cement.We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so
big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you
ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he' s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive
lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone
call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at
Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik
was betting with me that Pakistan would
win. What do you think?

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently
shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects
in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me
if I bite.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman
asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........
it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Lalu and Bill Gates....!!!!

Bill Gates and Laloo's Meeting
Conversation between Bill Gates and our very own Laloo of Bihar
Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.
Gates : At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house.

Gates(Confused) : Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo : OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes!Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.

Gates: By the year 2000 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.

Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.

Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows alot
about RAM and ROM.
Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly
available in A.P..

Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo: I have exhuasted all my leave.

Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.

Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing).
"Windows is restarting.Please wait........ ....."

Pain of a married man...!!!!!

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why
are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when
we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she
replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember
when your father caught us in the garden?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released
today!"

Above 18 only...!!!!!!

hehehe...now get back to work

Smart Indians in Newyork

An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks to see the loan
officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some
kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new
Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything is checked out,and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for
the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and
parks it there. Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that
u are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Indian replied ,"Where else in New York can I park my car for two
weeks for 15 bucks?"

Check under ur desks b4 u start workin..!!!(Scary)

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Going to Propose a Girl ?

Here are the top most reply of a girl, when you propose her...

1) Nahi........ ......... ???

2) Chiiiii..... Kitne gande vichar hain tumhare..... ..

3) Maine tumhe sirf ek acche dost ki nazar se dekha hai ....

4) Mera pehle se ek boyfrnd hai....

5) Main in baton pe vishwas nahi karti, apne padhai pe dhyaan lagao...

6) tum abhi tak mujhe jaante kahan ho ?Yeh shayad infatuation hai....

7) Tumhara bank balance kitna hai…??

8) Magar last year to Maine tumhe raakhi baandhi thi ..hai naa..bhaiyya. .??

9) Mein abhi is relation ke liye mentally prepared nahi hoo....

10) Mein apne dady se pooch ke tumhe kaal answer karu…??

11) Itni is baat kehne ke liye itni der lagaa di??

12) Ye donon ke dil me hai na, to phir kya kehna!!

13) Sorry

14) "……Apna chehra kabhi aayine me dekha hai….. L…………………………… "

15) "Main toh tumhe apna Bhai maanati hu"

16) "Yes .. I too like you … (but hope you don't cheat on me ) " … (Which we guys most oftenly do )

17) Phele kyon nahi bataya AB tum late ho gaye ..

18) Tum agar pehle mile hote to sochti.

19) Tumhari himmat kaise hui mere baare mein aisa sochne ki… (probably followed by a slap)

20) Girl: mujhe sochna ka wakt do…

Guy: kitna wakt???(with hope)

Girl: saat janam

21) Mai ek shaadi shuda ladki hu ;-)

22) Mein tumhare chotte bhai se pyaar karti hoon…

23) Now that's a real tragedy….

Girl: Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……

Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……

24) Boy: I love U!

Gal: I don't think ABT all this before marriage.

25) Keep loving I don't care.

26) Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho…

27) Kaun as number hai mera tumhare proposals ki history mein. Ha ha ha ha….

28) tumhe is nazar se kabhi dekha nahi

29) tumhare barre mein kabhi aisa socha nahi

30) mummy se pooch kar bataungi

31) mere bhaiyya se baat kar lo , who hi tumhe samajhayenge

32) Knyo, Tina NE "No" bola?

33) Lekin tum to Mina ke piche pade the, Kya usne thappad mara?

34) Kitne time ke liye -???

35) Worst one-- Jo bhi bolna hai jaldi bolo mera beta school se aata hoga..

36) Thanks. I love you, too.

37) Boy :- Sonya, I love U…..

Gal :- Sorry , Next 3 Months tak Waiting List chal rahi hai….

38) "What?"

39) "Let's just stay away from this"

40) My friend in college got one classic reply … "I THINK I'M ENGAGED"

41) "I think, I will have better options in future ..."

42)Mujhe tumse is baare mein koi baat nahi karni, then she starts ignoring, phir bhi nahi sudhare then she threatens via some common friends.

43) My Boy friend is very short Tempered. Beware of it.

44) like you as a friend but I never thought about us like this…cant we be just good friends for ever

45) Actually my younger sis likes you a lot. ..

46) My mummy does not like your family (if the family knows each other.) ..

47) "Why me?..Tumne mere meih essa kya dekha?..."she wants you to list down all the Good qualities that you even might have not seen in her. ...

48) SLAP !! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....it is said ..

49)hehe I didn't expect that from you....

50)nice joke ...

51)tum ladke kuchh or nahi soch sakte jaha ladki dekhi fisal gaye.....

52)achha tum bhi meine socha sirf harsh,nikhil, ravi, etc etc ko hi mujhme interest hai ..... And then walks on.......... ...

53)tumhe to purpose karna bhi nahi aata.... Peheli bari hai kya?? Koi baat nahi mein batati Hun ???...

Cricket In Heaven

Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly, now pretty old guys, 75 and 80 years
old, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket,
like they do every day.Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think
there's cricket in heaven?" Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and
replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and
tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the
same."They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Sachin passes on.
One day soon afterward, Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons by
himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav... Sourav!" Ganguly responds,
"Sachin! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sourav," whispers Sachin's ghost.
Ganguly, still amazed, asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says
Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says
Ganguly. Sachin says, "Well... there is cricket in heaven." Ganguly says,
"That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?" Sachin sighs
and whispers, "You're going to be the opening batsmen on Friday."